VivereRidereLAmore

I don't let her out much anymore. I keep her safe behind closed doors. The girl that is vulnerable, The girl who weeps. The girl who has nightmares that rip through her sleep. The girl who's been battered, She's been beaten and bruised, with scars, skin and soul, from how she's been used, and manipulated, it's quite easy to do when her heart's on her sleeve She gave the rains to a few who took advantage of leverage, and her desire to please, Love, all she wanted, Now her skin has the creases where she has been folded and smooshed into shapes that made others happy, until they went away. As she's unfolding, you can hear her b

Hey, how are you, Yeah I'm good, just the same. Weather's nice, friends are cool, job is stable, rent is paid. Hows the fam? Kids are good? In good health? Glad to hear. Yes mine too, all is well, another solid, blessed year. -no, I haven't.. I didn't know. Good for him, yeah, that's great. knew he would, not surprised he went out on that limb. Oh he has? wow, that's great. That sounds nice, bet he's happy. No, he didn't. No, I haven't. We don't speak. Let's not get sappy. I am aware- Hey, how's your dog? How's your garden? What books have you read-? Mhm, that's wonderful, knew he could do it. Just had to get out of

There are six stoplights Between your  place and mine. 15 minutes with traffic, Two right turns and a straight line. There are 6 things standing between you and I 6 stops, one highway, and a promise not to lie when I say I am fine. There are 6 people who've broken my heart. 6 times a loved one, tore me apart, And made your girlfriend 6 times more complicated. Private, protective, 6 times replicated with over corrections 6 locks and keys, 6 times the focus, it takes just to breathe. 6 times as long to unlock my story. 6 scenes in my book, that are a bit too gory to discuss with stone faces or composure at all. 6 stories to t

My dearest little ones, look at me, pay attention, Yes you'll see, Mommy will make it all better. Eyes up hear, Listen up, Wipe your tears, Chin up, It's all going to be okay. My sweet babies, I'll try harder, I'll be nicer, I'll be smarter, I'll be the perfect woman. Children I promise, I'm working quickly, I haven't picked one Who also picked me, But don't give up on me. I'm so sorry, I haven't found him, I can't get to you, in this mess I'm in, I'll go crazy before I give up. I’m losing you all, One month at a time, I just can’t find the one I’m supposed to call mine Because then you would be the

I was the last one to know. Everyone saw it before me... No one said a word, They never conveyed what they'd heard, They just let it play out on its own. The facts were all already there, Undeniable, Steadfast, concrete. There was no fighting, Just match ready for lighting, Ready to set my world ablaze. One night it all changed before me, I went home with a new reality, You looked in my eyes, And revealed all your lives, Saying you were done pretending to love me. Said we should try being friends, Try stepping away for a while, Be farther apart, Take back our hearts, Because none if your words had been true. Years have crawl

I have rules. I am home before midnight- before ten on week nights- I am always the DD, I only finish the fights. I don't change my mind, I don't kiss before the third date, I don't get involved, I don't believe in "fate" or fairytale endings, And I'm not saying he changed that, The rules are all there, still, You just skipped right passed Those rules without knowing What he was doing to me demolishing structure, Breaking my consistency. I was home after bedtime, On a weeknight no less, But I lost track while with him, I lost track of my stress, We were together for about the millionth time, When My lips found his lips, And h

The split second exchanges, With rosey cheeks and bashful glances. The lingering hugs before leaving, The kinds that move like music-less dances The tiny reassurances, fingertip brushes, and smiles from afar, The ease with which I breathe when I am there where you are. Refusing to let me light my own smoke, Saying a lady should never have to, Opening doors and remembering details, Noticing when i don't feel like smiling but I do. No it wasn't that you changed so much, It wasn't how long we spent as friends, It was the consistency of all these little things that won me over in the end,

Do you know how hard it is, To get through a day without one? A WHOLE day, it's impossible. once a day and then some. I'll be typing along at work, And I hear a distant chortle that sounds vaguely like yours once did and I'm thrown into a portal. Back I go to high school, or to the darkest college nights, to laughing until I couldn't breathe, and losing my breath every time we'd fight. Do you know how hard it is To wake up from my life like that? Dreams of you are memories, My reality might never come back. Being awake is the dream these days, Nothing feels real anymore, Everything is different now, I barely remember how it was b

I don't need you. I don't need your lies, I can see the truth just fine Without you. I don't need you, To tell me I'm strong. I am strong, And I was before you. I don't need you, to talk me down at night, I've learned how to do it, Without you. I don't need you, To make me laugh, I laugh every day, but it's still without you... I don't need you, to love me. I'm learning how to love myself... But you did it better. I don't need you, to come back. I'm trying to hate you, to cope with living without you. I don't need you, To be my montra when i can't move... I have a new one: I don't need you.

You were my glass of wine after work. You were my weekend out of town. You were mornings with fresh coffee, And a good book as the sun goes down. You were the stormy nights I dreaded, And the morning after glow. You were the iron against my skin, You were the gleam that always showed. Now you're the check engine light in traffic, You are a bruise that's faded yellow. You are the bottom of the coffee pot, You are the unanswered "hello" You are re the hardened corner of my heart, That bruises the rest when it beats. You are Monday morning with a cold. You are nosebleed seats. You're the tag sticking out of my shirt, that gets t